Loving My Brother Through Different Stages of Following Jesus

How wholehearted commitment changed the way I saw another person’s path—and brought back love, wonder, and memories I thought I had lost.

Preparing to Meet Jesus

At first, I wanted to prepare materially, just as other people were recommending. I did not have the resources or the ability to do those things. I decided that if I could not physically prepare for survival, I would prepare to meet Jesus.

I took repentance seriously. I also took seriously the idea that I might not be here much longer. Because of that, I held nothing back. I gave everything I could and made sure people knew what I knew about Jesus, because that might have been my last chance to say anything.

I fully believed that the end was coming and that it was right in front of me. I believed just as strongly in eternity, and I was determined, with everything I had, to make it there.

My tone was never about saying goodbye. It was always, “I want to see you there too.”

I also thought, “What if I don’t make it?” If that was a possibility, I wanted to do everything I could to help other people avoid ending up where I did not want to be. I studied all day and shared everything I learned with anyone who would listen.

Beginning with Forgiveness

For me, it began with forgiveness. I focused on the best, even when the best was not what I was seeing in that moment. I carried all of the best moments with me in every moment and disregarded the harm I had understood as intentional.

Before that, my go-to reaction had been to escape the situation immediately. In practice, forgiveness meant setting aside my own protection, but that was not how I understood it at the time. I saw an opportunity to follow Jesus, a kind of rite of passage.

I was not thinking about whether I would be harmed. I was already familiar with being hurt. I had been hurt thousands of times before, and I felt that it had all been for nothing. If I was going to be hurt, I wanted it to be for something that mattered to me: understanding forgiveness.

Looking back, I still regard those choices as right and necessary in my own journey. I do not describe them as something I regret.

Why I Misunderstood Another Person’s Preparation

Over time, I began to think material preparation was foolish or a waste of time. I saw people speaking to believers’ fears, and I believed some were trying to become rich from people who believed in Jesus but did not yet know what to do with their lives.

I was not angry because other people could prepare materially while I could not. I did not believe everybody had to begin where I began. I thought I could help them skip a step that seemed unnecessary to me, or at least less important than the spiritual preparation I had discovered.

I wanted to help. But what I was trying to communicate became skewed by my own imperfect love and understanding.

Committing Myself Completely

I had always been involved in more than one thing that I imagined. The change came when I committed myself to fulfilling everything I had ever imagined.

I understood this as fulfilling my own responsibilities that Jesus had given me. As a consequence, I saw that the people preparing materially were doing the exact same thing.

My appreciation came automatically. I was full of love and wonder toward them, like I was a child again.

The Love and Memories Returned Together

I had seen them that way before. When I say I was like a child again, I mean that literally in describing my experience. The time when I could not see them that way was a temporary blockage, though I did not know then that it was temporary.

During that period, I could not remember ever feeling differently toward them. I could not remember even one of the good times we had shared. Those memories were unavailable to me.

Then it happened in a moment. All of the love and the remembrance came flooding back at once.

It felt as though I had come home to paradise, as though I had always belonged there but had forgotten. It was like having amnesia and suddenly remembering everything. Only when it returned did I realize how lost I had felt: as though I had been away in a strange, scary place where there was no hope.

Looking back, I understood my carelessness in continuing to live without forgiving them as what had kept me in that place. It had seemed like no big deal, until the love and memories returned and I recognized what I had been missing.

What I Was Longing For

I wanted something I knew existed but did not yet understand. It was the perfection I understood Jesus to call us toward: to be innocent and pure.

After forgiving, I regarded the people who had hurt me as unaware of their actions and behavior toward me. I could still recognize that their behavior was inappropriate to the circumstances. At the same time, I understood it differently and wanted to respond to what I saw as the heart of their struggle.

What I Mean by Keeping the Faith

Regardless of how I feel about a situation or what outcomes I can imagine, keeping the faith means following the guidance God has given us.

When someone is struggling, I share that guidance in relation to the issue before us. My response is an expression of faith. I explain that it comes from God.

The opportunities to practice this are endless. I have encountered them in every kind of situation.

Faith in an Everyday Interaction

In one recent interaction, I put this into practice. The person was crying and, as I saw it, full of fear. There was aggression, hostility, threats, and an openly stated intention to cause harm.

I reassured them that there was nothing to fear and explained why I believed there was nothing to worry about. I shared what Jesus said and what God said. I reflected the situation back to them, including my demeanor and theirs.

Afterward, the person was no longer crying. They were smiling, laughing, full of life, sweet, and playful. I understood that change as evidence of the effectiveness of what I had shared.

How My Testimony Was Present

I did not tell the person a story about my own experiences. I spoke the Word of God with great passion and complete belief. My voice and passion had been shaped by practicing those teachings in my own life, including times when I had been afraid and aggressive.

When I described this as a piece of my testimony suited to the moment, I meant that everything I expressed, including what I saw of its effectiveness, was evidence of my testimony. My life experiences had shaped how I spoke; I was not recounting them to the person.

What Blessing Someone Looks Like to Me

Take care of their needs and let them know you are there to help. Ask genuinely. Offer to help.

There is no specific script. What matters is being genuine and sincere in what you say.

Loving My Brother Through Different Stages

I began to see that another person’s preparation could serve a purpose. For some people, practical preparation may bring relief. After doing what they believe they need to do materially, deeper fears or concerns may become easier for them to recognize.

A person may need different forms of guidance at different times. Progress can move forward, backward, or back and forth between stages. What I can see of someone’s present stage does not tell me the whole history of their journey.

My understanding is that a person’s path is complete in the moments when they are giving Jesus their all. The measure, for me, is loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving my neighbor as myself. I understand the second as following naturally from the first.

Recognizing that they were doing the same thing I was doing changed how I saw them. I was full of love and wonder again.

Life Beyond What We See

Hardship changed how one person understands life, offense, compassion, and the difference between retaliation, speaking up, and stepping away.

Hardship can expose the distance between knowing a teaching in words and understanding it through life. This reflection explores how an understanding of life, offense, compassion, and spiritual discernment can change through difficult experience.

What is something Jesus taught that you thought you understood until living through a difficult experience helped you understand it differently?

The passage in Revelation that describes the saints as not loving their lives unto death. When I first read it, I thought I understood it because I did not love my own life at that time. I believed that was simply how life had always been and how it would remain.

Later, I understood that I was living through a trial. I had come to think life was unfair unless a person was willing to take advantage of others and make peace with that inside their own moral compass. Now I understand love and life with more discipline and maturity. Life is not unfair, and life is not located on earth.

When you say, “Life is not unfair and it’s also not on earth,” what does “life” mean to you now?

Our soul has life. Our bodies serve our soul, and the earth serves our bodies.

How has that understanding changed the way you live through hardship and treat other people?

I do not take things personally in the same way anymore. It is difficult to take something personally when I no longer see what is visible as all there is. That makes it easier to see through to the heart of an issue. What I once experienced only as hardship can then become something I understand.

Can you share a specific moment when seeing the heart of an issue helped you understand something you once would have taken personally?

Those moments happen regularly. I used to be offended often, and sometimes offense was the other person’s intent. Even when it is, I am not bothered in the same way because the heart of the issue becomes obvious without my having to force it. It is never truly about me.

In the most recent example, their judgment of me had been intensified by what I would describe as accumulated dark whispers outside their own clear reasoning. They perceived my side of the conversation through earlier wounds and made me the recipient of the vengeance they imagined toward others who had hurt them in similar conversations. Recognizing what they had locked inside broke my heart for them.

In that conversation, how did you respond to the person, and what happened next?

I reminded them who I am and who I am to them. I knew that, in that moment, I had effectively disappeared from their sight and become all those other people rolled into one. We continued without further issue.

What would you say to someone who wants to respond with that same compassion but still feels hurt in the moment?

From my experience of practicing silence and enduring what appears harmful while doing what is perfect, which I understand in Jesus’ teaching as continuing forward without letting the opposition control me, I learned something. When I first mastered doing well in the face of opposition, understanding became immediate. It moved faster than the conversation or event taking place.

The understanding revealed an entire story: the hurt inside the other person and what had happened for them to arrive at that moment. I came to see the hurt we receive as a gateway. If we care for the other person and that care is pure, the gateway leads us toward solutions.

If our hearts are not pure—if we despise the person, hold unforgiveness, or see in them someone we have not forgiven—we are more likely to match their aggression. If the pain is overwhelming, I would begin by finding ways to bless them. Understanding can follow.

How do you distinguish responding without retaliation from needing to speak up or step away when someone continues to cause harm?

I would say that when you care more about their eternal soul than anything else, you will know without a doubt the difference.

A note on compassion and safety

This reflection presents personal spiritual understanding and experience. Compassion and non-retaliation do not require remaining in immediate danger or accepting ongoing abuse. A person may seek safety, wise counsel, pastoral care, professional help, or emergency assistance while still refusing retaliation.

Behind the Veil

Dear Reader,

What people often call “narcissistic traits” are, in reality, layers of protection. Over time, people build these defenses often unconsciously to protect something wounded deep inside. When we slap the label “narcissist” on someone, it doesn’t heal them or us. It creates distance and blocks compassion. Beneath all that, there isn’t a label, there’s a soul. And when we stop labeling, that’s when we truly see them.

With understanding,

Richie

A Soldier’s Haunting Encounter: Chaos and Revelation

In this dream, I was tasked to deliver supplies, only to find my truck raided and its order destroyed. While the army gathered, a pulsing orange glow entered, searching for me and speaking words I’ve waited lifetimes to hear. It lifted my spirit from sinking deep within to surrounding my body, alive and larger than flesh. A dream of responsibility, disruption, and divine awakening.

I was tasked by my chain of command to take a loaded truck with supplies to a port area, next to a channel of water. I parked and waited. I don’t know what happened, but while I slept or while I was at the mess tent, I’m not sure which, it was a mess tent I’ve been to many times. The line is always long, and just past it is the tarmac. Back at the truck, somehow the truck was raided, I couldn’t tell what was left or not, all the doors were cut off and cut into pieces and screwed to the outside of the truck. For some reason, I knew they had done it because they knew that if they kept the doors on the vehicle, then I wouldn’t notice all the havoc they had caused. I didn’t see anything missing but somehow with everything in such a mess all over the back and in the cargo I knew that I didn’t know if anything was useful anymore and just not knowing was a problem because I had to know what was available for who needed it and where it was so they’d get it as they passed, without the ability to expressly give it, they’d miss out. And I saw the army coming, ours, getting ready in position for what’ll be here soon. I remember hearing the voice of my fellow soldiers from the briefing before speak to me now: “You’re going to have to deal with this now.” As I lay waiting at the end of the day, in worry and in a painful half-sleep, I saw this orange glow come into the truck. It was looking for me, speaking to me; I heard it speaking about me, as if it were speaking to itself, while it was close and on its way. It came in and moved around above me, pulsing as it spoke. I remember what it said, but I don’t share it. It’s something that I feel like I’ve waited lifetimes to hear. It made me feel alive, bigger, almost as if before this, my spirit was sinking deeper into myself and becoming smaller to sense and further distant the deeper it went. And this just brought me up not just to the surface, but surrounding myself or my body, being bigger than it, and covering it.

Understanding Dreams: A Funeral in My Vision

In a vivid dream, I walked into Pastor Charles Lawson’s church and found myself in the middle of a funeral unlike any other. Four rooms held different mysteries, women preparing, whispers over a body robed in royal blue, memories spoken in the sanctuary, and a final exchange about payment that pointed back to the covered one. The atmosphere felt sacred, surprising, and layered with hidden meaning.

There is a famous pastor, Charles Lawson, who posts his sermons on the internet. I’ve never met him or been to the church he is at yet, but in my dream, I went there. When I went inside, there was a funeral, with four rooms, almost all women there. I only remember one guy, who seemed to be dressed in pastor clothes. In the first room the people were mourning and getting things ready, but they werent super sad, in the next room i saw a person on a table covered in royal blue robes and they were rolling it up on that person, the one at the head of the person on the table looked up and gave me a surprised look, like, what is he doing here, not a bad look a good surprised, that person whispered to the others, they all whispered among each other and looked at me kid of strangely. The next room was the room that was used to preach in, pretty big, and they were calling off the details of the dead’s life, then I looked to the right in the other room, one lady asked the man in pastor clothes, Who do I pay, and How much now? He said all of it and pointed to the room with the person who was on the table in royal blue robes.

Dream date recorded in the original draft title: August 24, 2018.

A Family Reunion Across Planets and Generations

I traveled across three planets through the generations of species, not time. On Mars, I returned to the underground pyramids I’ve seen in dreams countless times, buried in the sand dunes. There I found two companions, family in spirit, who carried the key to what we were meant to finish. Together, we were called to gather others, but first we had to unite, remembering who we were and where we came from.

Traveled to 3 planets 🪐 through 3 different generations, but not typical generations, these were species generations. On one planet, the beginning of life was from far under the beach or deep underground beach. There were two companions I ran into that I knew were family, and that we were supposed to be together because I knew what we would do, because I knew who we were and where we came from. One believed me after only a little convincing and after taking him through and guiding him through the pyramids under the earth on Mars. The other was stubborn but stayed around because she liked us. I knew we could begin what we were meant to finish, and only needed to be together, and we were supposed to gather others, everyone, but we, our core group, had to be together first. The underground pyramids on Mars were the same place of underground pyramids that I have been to in dreams, maybe dozens or hundreds of times, just from dreams that I can remember off the top of my head. The pyramids are in the sand dunes.

Forgiveness and Guidance: A Prayer for Spiritual Renewal

Our Father in heaven, forgive us, we have allowed the world to influence our minds and our perception. You have given us perfect instruction, and we have abandoned it by our actions. We claim your name with our mouth, but our actions follow the familiar in the world. We have been a harlot. Have mercy on us, Father, correct us, judge us, save us.

Thank you for hearing us in love and mercy. Thank you for guiding those who seek you. Thank you for the faith that comes from patience in waiting for you. In the end, following you, we see your perfect plan for us.

Mystical Desert House: A Journey of Transformation

In a dream, I was given a humble house in the desert beside unseen but constant trains. A hidden podium appeared, and as I spoke, time unfolded benches rose, fences vanished, and I was lifted into the air. The moment echoed Luke 4:18–21, as golden words and the seal of Ezekiel emerged from the pages before me, shining with eternal depth and calling.

The House by the Tracks

A vision of calling, voice, and the lifting of the Word

I was given a house in the desert. Outside the house, it was a humble-looking structure, covered with heavy moss and surrounded by trees, as if it had been left abandoned in a forest for a long time. Right up against the house was a train track. I knew it was busy, but I was never able to see a single train go through, but I know the trains did go through even when I was at home. A chain-link fence was between my house and the train tracks.

A woman came by to help. While helping, I found a podium I didn’t see before. It was facing the fence and the train track. I opened the book, and as I spoke, I noticed my voice seemed to permeate from the depths of the canyons and into the ground. As this happened, a climbing set of benches showed up and people, the train also, as if I was seeing a time lapse. The more I focused on speaking, the fence seemed to disappear and the podium grew. It was huge and started to surround me, and it started to lift me up as if it could fly on its own.

I felt as if I were having the same moment Jesus did when He read:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.”

“And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.”
— Luke 4:18–21, KJV

As I was reading, the book was in front of me, sitting open on the podium, but I wasn’t looking at it. I wanted to see what I was reading before I left, so that I could come back. When I looked at it, the white of the pages looked as rich as the sky air and seemed to be as deep as it. The writing was a mirror-shine gold and I saw a seal rise up from it.

Escape from the Battleship: A Dream of Rescue and Renewal

I was on a ship 🛳

There were two, battle ships, small ones, flat black and stealth looking . I had to go inside and join with the crew undercover because my daughter and some other guy was there, the guy was a kid maybe 18-20 taking care of her. The ships were filled with bad messed up people but most of them just had no where to go. I had a little help but I was the only one that could or would do anything to get them out.

Someone hid weapons for me. The first one I was told to use was a grenade. I ran around the ship through their celebrations in the different levels and rooms I couldn’t find my opportunity.

My room with the two kids was just to the side of the main hall room with bleachers made out of railroad ties surrounding the back walls. I decided to use it there on the far side from where I stayed with the kids. It wouldn’t go off after pulling the pin and throwing it far under the bleachers, it should have landed in the center of the ship because under the bleachers led through the walls. It didn’t go anywhere. I stayed with the kids a while scared because it’s a ship and what if it rocks in the water and the grenade shifts next to our wall!! After a while I told the boy to watch my baby and be ready I’m going to make this work now. I asked someone, somehow an older woman but she wasn’t there, on the radio maybe? She did this before with the same type grenade, it had two parts, the pin and a switch that was attached to my belt that was like a remote. I looked again through the ship to set it off, it wasn’t a normal grenade, it was newer, high tech looking. I didn’t want to kill anyone, I couldn’t. Not all of them were bad they didn’t know what they were doing. I went out onto the deck and threw it over board and flipped the switch that was on a chest plate like armor I was wearing. I thought I’d have to find another way. But the explosion was close enough to the side of the ship, two seconds later I heard one single alarm “evacuate the Ship” everyone immediately started evacuation.

I for some reason jumped thinking it wouldn’t work, I swam to shore, it wasn’t far, we were still in small channels inside the city before heading out to sea. I went into the city running around to find help for another way. The city was so huge, nothing like I’d seen before, it was built up to the sky, looked like I was in the future. After what seemed like a couple hours I ran back remembering everyone started evacuating. I got there just in time to see the large lifeboats all coming to shore. I swam out to find out where my daughter and the boy were to make sure they got out. The alarm alerted people from the city, the city welcomed and took care of anyone who came out without question.

I found the boy he started to hand me something of hers as if it was the only thing left of her I felt my heart sank and world begin to crush but as I looked at him, just behind him she was there with a woman being taken care of. Her and the woman disappeared and I never saw them again, I was made to forget them. The boy came with me to shore, he disappeared and I was made to forget. As he disappeared I was greeted by my other daughter and went to live and take care of her with a man who said he was going to help me. He asked about what we would do now to get by. He asked about savings if I had any,

I had more than enough for anything, I saved from before I went onto the ship, I knew I’d need it one

day somehow. This place where he asked me, we were on a huge escalator, wide but clear almost like crystal, above the traffic going up, it seemed to go through the buildings too.

Everyone else got to have a free fresh start, they didn’t have to stay with that group just to get by

anymore. They got free passes to go live in the city, the city also took care of them no matter where they wanted to go from there.

Navigating Urgency and Protection in a Dream

In a vivid dream set in a place like the Netherlands, an urgent call sent us racing toward planes. We placed airline headphones over our shoes, somehow hearing them in our ears while they shielded us from unseen danger. Scattered across fields, we followed a strange directive. Amid it all, a woman shielded a child a moment of grounding before the message came: “This is it. This is the end.”

It started in what looked like an airport. There were archways, tall, arched walkways lining both sides of a canal that ran through the street. It felt like Denmark, or maybe Holland or the Netherlands, that’s what the scenery looked like. I’m not sure if it was there, but that’s what it reminded me of, somewhere in that part of the world.

We were moving fast, heading out toward the tarmac. Planes were lined up. There was a sense of urgency. We were running in a hurry.

There was a call like an announcement, but it was only for us on our way. It was something about a fall or our fall. I’m not sure what it was, but we all knew exactly what to do.

There were these static bags, shiny silver like the kind that computer parts come in. Everyone had them. Inside each bag was a pair of headphones, like the ones that you get from airline staff.

We were putting the headphones over our feet, over our shoes. I don’t know why, but we couldn’t move forward without doing it. When they got on our shoes, they formed around them like a protective barrier, air tight, for our shoes because, for some reason, we needed it for some type of ground lightning, which is what I was thinking. And the headphones stayed in their place and had to be part of it, so that on the balls of all our feet there was a pair of airline headphones that worked perfectly without being plugged in, and we could hear what the headphones were receiving, but we heard it in our ears even though they were on our feet.

We were all in different spots, scattered. I must’ve been further ahead, because I remember cutting across a grass field to get to one of the planes. I didn’t want to go, but I had to.

But that wasn’t the hard part.

Then there was something about “the investor” or “the back study card.” I’m not sure what it was.

A woman had her hands over a child. She was shielding them, protecting them. That wasn’t the important part, though. The part we were supposed to be aware of. Like it was a key moment. A grounding moment. So we could orient ourselves. Like we had to ground the clay, or maybe ourselves, in the right way.

I didn’t remember that part until later in the day, after the fights. And people were talking to children. Telling them:

“This is it.

This is the end.”

The Mammoth’s Echo: Fossils and Forgotten Histories

In a dream, I held fast to the tusks of a mammoth, only to find myself in a different world its bones fossilized, voices of unseen people echoing through a museum of living memories. An old man, once part of a battle, trained me in a house that expanded into infinity. Fossils whispered of events still to come, and a waiting crowd reminded me that the past and present were not separate.

I had this dream of walking through people’s houses and their yards. The houses and yards were on display as if they were museums. I got there by grabbing onto and not letting go of the tusks of a mammoth 🦣. It bucked and dragged me down, and as I went down with it, everything dissolved and faded into a different world. The same place, but things were different. When I came into the world, I was grabbing on to the tusks still, but the tusks were in the ground and faded like fossils. I tried standing up without letting go, but when I did, the mammoth started to resurrect, and I felt something tell me, ‘No, don’t let go, not yet. So I stood up and looked around, and I was the only one there, but I heard all the voices of people passing by as if echoes of a tour of the museum. As I looked around and saw the mounds of dirt with fossils surfaced, other ones would appear along with the voices, and I heard the background voices of some who didn’t care and of another group who felt bad for them because they’re the reason we were all there. They needed to know and didn’t understand that this battle wasn’t in the past because the museum became richer by the present. Then an old man showed up who was part of the battle, then older men showed up who each had their own house/museum where they stayed, and all we’re getting ready for when the bones come back out of the ground again. One was training me, he’d move around the house, always busy, and I’d explore it. It was a simple house, but it seemed endlessly huge inside and out the more I explored it. At a glance, it seemed like a small house with a small yard around it, at closer inspection, everything expanded infinitely. While I was in the backyard, inspecting fossils again, I put stakes in some fossils because while staring at them, I saw the event, but it was just ground. The old man showed up, working on a fence and answering all my questions. His daughter had shown up; he had given her to me years before, but I didn’t know of her or our history together until she arrived. A partly visible crowd behind her was waiting for me. Outsiders started to pass through one or two at a time, seeing me and moving on…..

Remembering the rest, I just remembered another portion. Near the end I was given a carved, heavily detailed wooden ring with gold lace accents around it.

Original record notes

The original entry was titled “Dreamscape- 12-21-21” and was published on December 22, 2021. It describes “our history of experience together.” At the mammoth’s tusks, the original wording was “no let go not that yet.” The later version above reads “No, don’t let go, not yet.” Both wordings are retained without resolving the difference.

Restful Prayer

Father, thank you for your son, Jesus, the perfect gift you gave to us, with the simplicity that even the least of us can understand and be blessed. In him, your work is perfected, for all who accept him. Your name is above all names, and you are worthy of all praises, glory, and honor, Father. In Jesus, we have peace; he showed us plainly your perfect love. In Him we have rest; His life that we walk after, keeping in mind all that He taught us, is our Sabbath. Thank you, Father, for sending your son to show us that we rest in the Sabbath every day, every moment that we live as he lived. He clearly showed us that when we pray for your will to be done, we are praying for all peace and love to reign around us. You alone are holy. We worship you forever, Father.

The Chariot of Light: A Journey Through Spiritual Realms

In a dream of light, I stood among clouds radiant as the chariot approached its open wagon filled with robe-clad bodies of light, their childlike eyes fixed on me. Seeing the darkness scarring my glowing form, I tore away the old self in one pull, leaving behind the false covering to join them. It was not just a dream, but a call to shed all that dims the spirit.

I was standing on a cloud around all the other clouds made of light, and when I saw the chariot roll up, the back wagon was similar to an open wagon that carried horse dung. It was filled with bodies make of light wearing robes made of light and they all looked up at me with child’s eyes. Then I saw my suit, regular street clothes and my skin were as one made of light but heavily scared with darkness. When I realized who they were I tore off the skin street clothing in one pull and joined.

heavenly vision, chariot of light, prophetic dream, robes of light, spiritual transformation, divine revelation, joining the saints, removing the old self, dream of heaven, light and darkness in the soul, prophetic encounter, clouds of glory, heavenly gathering

Swallowed by Fire, Raised by Grace

A dream from the edge of life and death where mercy looks like fire, healing comes through the womb of suffering, and a child’s gift restores what was once always lost. No one ever survived the bite… until now.

I was in an abandoned school, a huge place that I’ve been to before hundreds of times or more, in other connecting dreams. All the leaves were off the trees outside. I became every character while there while they were in their moments. People were getting bitten, sick, and dying.

The character rick and his wife was there, she got bit and he quarantined her to a small fenced off yard and inside a sealed white tent where she was supposed to die and then I saw myself as rick with the school master and a few others out front of the school where rick was told that no more antibiotics were found in the schools lab classes even though he was told that there would be. I got upset and felt like I had no choice, so I pulled a cord that caused a flame to start in the tent where I had rigged it with white phosphorus to burn quick and hot and kill her instantly so she wouldn’t have to suffer.

Then, as the wife, I noticed the flame start in the tent and I noticed the accelerant for the fire and thought, did he do this good enough? Will I hurt? I knew this had to happen because I knew I wouldn’t survive. And the tent collapsed on itself but didn’t start to burn yet, the accelerator wasn’t working and I was worried about dying slowly so I went to the entrance of the tent which had a vestibule and while at the front of it I started to panic but then thought, ok wait, this is your life at stake you can do this, just grab the tent with your teeth and tear it open, it was one of those thick heavy duty medical tents with layers.

I got out and rick was there watching, as I got out he was surprised that I was still able to communicate because before I couldn’t and should have been further gone by now, also when I got out I was coming from a hole in the ground and I waved at him to wait but couldn’t speak because I had to swallow the entire tent just to escape and right in front of him I pulled out little by little the entire tent from my mouth and stomach, after it all came out I said it’s ok I healed it and I joked about going to be needing a raise after this, he looked at everything I just did and agreed and he looked at my wound and it healed right in front of us and the fever left and all my color came back.

Then, as Rick, I thanked our baby because I knew that healing gift came from the child. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to let her stay with everyone because no one would trust she healed because no one has ever survived before. But when the bite on her heal wasn’t bruised anymore and the bite mark completely gone and wound sealed, they wouldn’t be able to deny it.

I remember after the tent came out of her mouth what left was nothing but what looked like a husky of it because she digested the structure,

Dream date recorded in the original draft title: January 21, 2020.

Reflections of self – When others seem behind

Not everyone takes the same path to reach the other side of life’s river and they don’t have to. Boats, bridges, planes, and even those left behind all play a role in this modern parable about humility, spiritual growth, and learning not to mock another’s journey.

Your version of reality is not absolute. No one has to walk the path you took. If they do, it’s helpful for you to share your wisdom. If someone sees another path, let them walk away from the steps you took in the past. We should wish them well.

The whole point of life is to get across the river. Just because you swam doesn’t mean everyone else has to. They’re getting across all the same. You may get your arm torn off by a shark, someone will perceive that threat and Retreat and regroup because they KNOW there’s a BETTER way. While everyone thinks the only way is to swim and risk life and limb doing it, others will find out they can build boats. All the while those swimmers mocking the ones on shore are now being passed up because the winds are in their favor. But now some of the boaters have decided to mock the ones that stayed behind, the boaters think there are only two ways, swimming and by boat.

Well while the ones behind look like they’ll never catch up, one group is building cars Because they saw another start to build a bridge and another are building a plane. All of these will get them to the finish line at the other side of the river at the same time as the first guy left to swim it.

Some others were not as fortunate as to be involved in the building of ways to cross. They got left out of the groups. Others took advantage of them. They live for opportunities to reap the benefits of others’ hard work. They aren’t forgotten either. Along comes this guy named Moses. Everyone gets across, except those who stayed only to take advantage of those less fortunate. They were left behind with nothing but each other to keep company.

Don’t mock those who are behind. They could be believers. You may get passed up. Your consideration, or lack of it, may be a sign of a hardening of the heart. You’ll be left behind.

Dream of the end

In a recurring dream landscape just outside a familiar town, a prophetic flood exposes deep corruption. As the river washes away bodies, vehicles, and guilt, no one in the town seems to care except the one who quietly records the truth, hidden and vulnerable, but preserved.

I was out with my camera and microphone to record something In a woods type area that I visited dozens of times in my dreams, it’s just outside a town that felt like we live in or are from. This place floods a little sometimes, but this time I was told by someone that it would be very bad. (In a prior dream of the same place it is an area where housed groups of teams wonder while they’re helping people from their shelters, in that one I was given a huge beautiful white ship, like a yacht, it was empty, I knew I had to go get people.) I called that person when I was there and said you were right, this place is like an ocean. Then I noticed a large red train car or trailer or ambulance, it looked like it switched because tween all three of those. There were a bunch of guys out there, they all pushed it into the rushing river to get rid of it, then they threw in a dead body and some more.

There were a bunch of cops there in uniform and medics and one cop was covered head to toe in blood, he was the main killer, he washed himself in the river and all the others did also they also threw other vehicles in it and they washed away and also sank in the sand. Some of the guys also gave themselves over to be sunken into the sand.

This whole time I hid just behind some boulders watching and recording and knowing If they saw me they’d kill me.

The area turned into a type of beach, and everyone else from town showed up

The entire town got flooded, and all the killers came out in the open, but no one cared because they were too busy getting drunk and mingling together

I got away by pretending to be a drunk within the crowd until I was out of sight, and then I was naked except for my recording of what happened.

Dream date recorded in the original draft title: August 25, 2019.

Honesty and Perfection: A Journey to Self Discovery

What if perfection wasn’t about performance, but about being fully honest especially with the pain we carry? This poem reflects on how affliction can become a blessing, how peace is hidden in loss, and how true righteousness refuses to retaliate. The heart that walks with God speaks only of heaven.

It’s ok to be hurt.

Its not ok to hurt the one who hurt you.

Innocence walks upright, it understands beyond pain because it endures pain.

Righteousness is the reward of the basest, who are unappreciated and never blame anyone but themselves.

Peace is hidden in the secrets of loss.

Affliction is a blessing, to isolate internally what needs removal and correction.

Accept the truth

Accept correction

Confess the hidden inner person

Receive direction

Be lead

Be forgiven

Be honest continuously

Be perfect

Perfection is simple

It’s defined by God not what the world thinks perfect is

Perfect is complete uncomfortable honesty intent on being conformed to Christ Jesus

Out of the mouth comes the abundance of the heart and issues of life

A repentant heart does not inquire of the past

A heart with God is in heaven and all things are spoken of heaven the promise land

Not of the earth

Poem of Graditude

A tender and honest poem of spiritual gratitude. Through pain, delay, and divine correction, the heart learns what love truly is. This is a thank you to the Father not for what was easy, but for what shaped the soul to recognize Him.

I am grateful for everything.

I couldn’t have been hurt so much if I did not have a desire for love and a soft heart.

If I wasn’t exposed to as much harshness and heartache I would have enjoyed the world and been blind.

If God didn’t rebuke me for my disobedience in behaving as Jesus would I wouldn’t have cared to listen and obey.

I know if I had gotten what I thought I wanted, I would have lost everything.

If I didn’t keep waiting, if I dealt with anything in a way that made sense, if I didn’t become a fool for the lord, I wouldn’t KNOW love.

Thank you, Father

We do not know anything if we lose it. If we find it, we become ourselves again. Who is she?

She is hidden. She is veiled. Known only by the one who is worthy. This poetic revelation invites us to meet the mystery called Wisdom the Spirit who awakens dreamers and divides the faithful from the faint. Who will follow her flight?

Her name is wisdom. She is hidden, dressed in white. She is pure and veiled. She is known only by the one worthy to rest with her. The past, the body, the world, and the animal are sacrificed at the altar during the ceremony called life. The breath of life flows from her wings, awakening the dreamers. Her children are drawn towards the source of her flight, and the others are blown away by it. Who can find her, who can let go, who can move forward into the winds, watching many fall away. Who has the faith to complete their journey? Who will surrender everything seen for what is unseen and not known until it is given? Who will come back after the wedding? Who will attend and who will refuse?

Reacting with Purpose: Guiding Your Audience

Every reaction is more than an opinion, it’s a seed. As Christian content creators, our words carry the spirit we bring into them, shaping the hearts of those watching. Criticism without care closes doors; guidance with grace opens them. Learn how to respond with wisdom, love, and truth so your audience leaves not only informed, but transformed.

A note to

Content Creators

For those making reaction videos or commentary—especially my brothers and sisters in Christ

It’s easy to forget in the moment, but every reaction is more than just an opinion. It’s a seed. It carries weight in the spirit, it shapes the atmosphere your audience will sit in, and it either opens or closes the door for someone to hear the truth.

When you watch a clip and respond, you’re not just speaking about the person in that video; you’re speaking to the hearts of everyone who watches you. That means the spirit you carry into your response will be the spirit the audience takes with them.

If Jesus were looking through your eyes in that moment of your choice expression—and He is—what would He see?

Would He see someone to correct harshly, or someone scared, confused, or hurting? Would He see someone begging for help without knowing how to ask?

When all we do is criticize the person in the clip, without offering anything that could actually help them, we’re not just closing the door on them, we’re sealing it shut. And when that door shuts, it often seals shut for everyone in the audience who agrees with us in that moment. That door is: to judge or to guide.

Even if your viewers have never experienced the same thing to the same degree as the person in the video, they will still carry the spirit of how you responded. And if they have experienced it even in the smallest seed form, your reaction either waters that seed for life or dries it out.

And for those who don’t carry that struggle at all, it’s still a bad practice to model. Because by showing only criticism without care, you’re teaching your audience to respond to weakness with judgment instead of guidance. You’re showing them how to close a heart instead of open one.

People have these same conversations in their own minds. Some are battling thoughts that echo the very content you’re reacting to. That means you, as a content creator, have a rare opportunity to help heal these things from their beginnings, even before they ever take root. By addressing the behavior in the video as if you’re speaking directly to that person, you can guide them, and you can plant something different in your audience. You can stop future harm before it ever happens, simply because the spirit you carry when you respond will be the same spirit your audience adopts when they face similar situations.

Most Christian responses are to anger-related statements made towards Jesus or Christianity, and anger or hostility is: fear wearing armor. People hear the tone before they hear the truth. If your delivery is like an attack, the guard of those who are inclined to behave within any variant and level of subtlety or intensity of the subject of your content will go up before your words even have a chance to land. That’s why sometimes the most “right” answer can still push people further away.

“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.” — Colossians 4:6

“The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone… gently instructing.” — 2 Timothy 2:24–25

So when you make your next video or statement, don’t just think, How do I respond to this? Ask, How can I guide the one in the clip and my audience one step closer to healing, wholeness, and Christ?

Because in the end, you’re not just a reactor. You’re an ambassador. And every ambassador carries the weight of the kingdom they represent.

Soul Ties: How to Break What Holds You and Heal What’s Beneath

Some connections don’t begin with a clear heart; they start with a need for belonging, comfort, or to prove something to ourselves or others.

When those needs go unsatisfied in healthy ways, we can start to place too much meaning in the wrong places. Boundaries blur. Choices get made in moments of loneliness, restlessness, or the search for identity. And instead of finding the connection we truly long for, we form bonds that don’t carry the weight to hold us up.

These are what many call unhealthy soul ties connections that link more to our wounds than to our wholeness. They’re not always visible from the outside, but they affect how we think, what we expect, and how we trust.

When those bonds end in betrayal, disappointment, or regret, their imprint can linger. Without forgiveness for them and for ourselves something inside us closes. A gate inside stays locked. And while that gate is shut, the love and life meant for a healthy bond spills into places it doesn’t belong. The mind and body has a process it goes through called cortical remapping, where the brain redirects the space and energy once dedicated to one area into another. When this happens in the physical body such as after the loss of a limb the brain reallocates its processing power, sometimes in unexpected ways. In the same way, when a deep emotional bond is broken but not healed, the mental and emotional “space” once devoted to that person is reassigned, often spilling into areas of life where it doesn’t belong. Without forgiveness and renewal, those reassigned patterns can shape new relationships in the image of the old wound.

Some people try to fill the emptiness with new encounters, but repeating the connection doesn’t repair the meaning. Instead, it lays one fragile foundation after another, where nothing lasting can stand.

Life is experienced from the inside out. What’s within us shapes what we see, how we interpret it, and what we believe is possible. Old pain filters our view, making even healthy opportunities look unsafe.

The body remembers, too. Every connection leaves patterns in how our emotions rise, how our chemistry flows, and how safety feels. Without forgiveness, those patterns loop endlessly, repeating what’s familiar even if it harms us, in an endless cycle.

But when the heart is cleansed, the whole person changes. Clarity returns. Trust becomes possible again. And that healing doesn’t stop with you it ripples into your relationships, your family, and the generations after you.

This is a peronal revelation of life that has helped me in so many ways including in this area. No one you’ve met including yourself is a finished work. Some of the harm you’ve felt came from people still in their forming stage, still unaware of how their actions affect others. And the same may be true of harm you’ve caused. Who we are is our soul, which is not yet formed but in its embryo stage, contained within the womb space we call life.

If we could see one another as works still being shaped, we might stop holding yesterday’s mistakes against each other. We might remember that mercy isn’t for those who’ve “earned” it it’s for those still becoming whole.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened, but it breaks the chain that keeps the past alive in the present. It calls back your energy from old wounds and restores it to where you stand now.

Inside, something shifts. The mind begins to form new pathways for trust. The body lowers its guard. The heart opens to connection without the reflex of self-protection. Love becomes possible again not the rushed, fragile kind, but the kind that grows deep roots.

Breaking unhealthy soul ties isn’t just about ending a bond it’s about restoring the sacred meaning of connection. When you heal what’s within, you stop repeating what once broke you. Forgiveness becomes steady ground beneath your feet, and from there, everything healthy can grow.

Question: If we learn to see people as souls who are still becoming, how do we show them mercy without using their unfinished state as an excuse for the harm they continue to cause?

Response: It’s not mercy if it had conditions or consideration of worthiness.

Question: If mercy has no condition of worthiness, what keeps mercy from becoming permission for someone to keep hurting you?

Response: Patience and enduring our trails the acceptable way, changes how we experience what is commonly identified as harm.

Question: When you say we should endure our trials “the acceptable way,” what makes a way of enduring acceptable to God—and what does the wrong way of enduring look like?

Response: Suffering in peace without resentment is another way to say, presenting your body as living sacrifice, this is acceptable.

Question: Does presenting your body as a living sacrifice mean accepting every circumstance without resistance, or can someone resist what is wrong while still suffering in peace and without resentment?

Response: If any circumstance can alter your peace then it’s not peace you have, that’s a set of conditions met.

Question: If peace is real only when circumstances cannot take it away, where does that kind of peace come from—and how does a person actually learn to live from it instead of just trying to stay calm?

Response: It comes from God and is natural to us all when we accept the Kingdom as a child would.
Inner peace is a natural state as a child. Children are vulnerable, can’t care for themselves and unable to defend themselves and the world is not ideal or safe, yet children have no problem with any of this. Faith in God is the same.

Question: What is the difference between childlike faith and naïveté? How can someone completely trust God without becoming careless about wisdom, boundaries, or real danger?

Response: Vain imaginations keep us from full guidance of the Holy Spirit’s leadership.

Question: How do you distinguish a “vain imagination” from genuine discernment or a legitimate warning from the Holy Spirit?

Response: The singleness of heart that only minds what belongs in heaven will understand the difference.

Question: What does “singleness of heart” look like in everyday life? How would someone know their heart is becoming single rather than still being pulled between God and the concerns of the world?

Response: They’ll be known by their fruits and love for others.

Question: When you say they’ll be known by their fruits, which fruits matter most to you as evidence that someone is truly being led by the Holy Spirit rather than by fear, ego, or religious performance?

Response: Their labors in love testify to that evidence.

Question: How can someone tell the difference between a true labor of love and self-sacrifice that is really being driven by guilt, fear, pride, or the need to be seen as good?

Response: If it is the same work being done, what type of person would question the hearts state of the hands that worked it?

Whispers of the Moon: A Poetic Reflection

In the stillness of the last hour, He comes. One is taken. Peace rains down. A poetic vision of the moment heaven meets earth where hearts sing, streets shine, and the King reigns for a thousand years.

The moon is quiet

Peace is still

He comes

Last hour

One is taken

His will

………………………………….

Blessings, rewards

It’s raining

Hosanna to the king

Hearts sing, golden streets

A thousand years

The Prince of Peace and His Promise of Freedom

A prophetic poem echoing the Spirit of God’s return, this piece speaks of justice through forgiveness, truth in love, and the reigning power of Yeshua. It proclaims freedom from fear and deception as the King of Kings prepares His reign with ten thousands of His holy ones.

The God of love and peace

Joy and endless mercies

Calls your name

Jesus

He is justice by forgiveness

Thanksgiving and praise

Knowledge & wisdom

Prayer and patience

Lay the axe to the root

Cut your anchor to the earth

Let her land be desolate

The gatherings of hypocrites

Will be rebuilt

on the humility of the Prince of peace

On equality, love, faith and selflessness

On love through freedom

On truth

On singleness of mind and heart

The price has been paid

Jesus

What did he have the power in

To take and raise up again

The king of kings is coming to reign

The highest priest has risen from the grave

The true God that gives life

The first and the last

Understanding and clarity

Salvation

Comes with ten thousands of his holy ones

To subdue what destroys

To bind in chains deception and pain

To lock away fear and anxiety

a thousand years the dragon will not be found

The time is at hand

Consequences from rules and boundaries

Introduce fear and pain, it makes castaways

Rejection is a devil from Satan

Put that spirit of darkness out if your houses

The spirit that never changed

The I AM

He comes with a new name

With new Jerusalem

Emanuel

God is with us

Poem

Through shattered pieces and quiet pain, a voice calls our name. This poem is a sacred song for the broken hearted those being remade by the Composer of all things. In the silence, in the fragments, God writes a symphony.

The Composer of My Life: A Journey

Through my shattered mess

I thought I was alone

In my solace, I hear you call my name

I come to you

The wonderful composer of my life

The master pieces,

You,

Make,

Out of broken pieces

You’ve made me yours

My heart sings praises of your name.

Forever,

Until your kingdom come